In the words of John McEnroe: ‘You cannot be serious!’
We all know about the association between excessive drinking of high sugar, carbonated drinks and type II diabetes, obesity and poor teeth, we’ve had it rammed down our throats for long enough. Surely it is the same as most things, it’s OK in moderation. I for one will be honest – there’s been more than one occasion when I have been pretty glad to have a bottle of Coke handy.
Here are some of those reasons.
Jelly Fish Sting
If you’ve ever been caught on the beach with your child screaming from the pain of a jellyfish sting, yes you could urinate on your child in front of a packed summer beach but pouring some Coca Cola over the sting might be a better option.
OK so a hangover may not be a serious medical emergency but an ice cold glass of coke does help - unless the Coca-Cola was involved in the cause of the hangover … rum and coke, vodka and coke, etc.
This works quite well, rather bizarrely - gargle with a big mouthful of ice-cold Coke.
I have no personal experience of this one but there is quite a bit on the internet about it. Apparently, the caffeine in two cans can prevent the onset of an attack.
Definitely one for morning sickness. Let the Coke go flat and take a teaspoon every hour. Adding a bit of ginger to it also helps.
Always a good one for kids with stomach bugs. Fasting, followed by water, followed by flat Coca-Cola is the order of a 24 hour day.
Getting kids to take bad tasting medicines.
It’s actually used in some hospital paediatric wards to get children to take medicines, in particular, to get them to take activated charcoal.
Remedy for mild heat exhaustion and dehydration
I’ve used this many times with the children, it’s a quick-fix rehydration. Coca-Cola, salted crisps and water.
Dissolve a bezoar
No this is not some weird excerpt from a Harry Potter potions class. A bezoar in humans is the equivalent of a fur ball for cats except that it is made up of vegetable fibres, skins and seeds. Well if you ever get one you can dissolve it with Coca-Cola. Warning – do not try it for a fur ball in your cat.
Coca-Cola increases the acidity and feeds the micro-organisms that break down waste to make compost and it all goes on much more quickly.
Use it as a pesticide without piling horrid chemicals into your soil. Particularly good for slugs and snails if you put a small bowl of Coke down they get attracted to it and sort of drown ecstatically in it, so you don’t have to feel bad about them dying.
Check soil for Uranium content.
Thankfully, most people don’t really have a problem with a Uranium content in their soil, but it is reassuring to know that scientists are always looking for alternatives to toxic chemicals. The chemicals used to measure bioavailable Uranium in soil samples are expensive and pretty unhealthy themselves and it appears Coca-Cola works just as well for a fraction of the cost and no pollution.
A tip from a golf course green keeper: Coca-Cola, Beer and a few other unusual things make a good lawn tonic.
Picnic without wasp induced mass hysteria.
Putting a small cup of Coca-Cola a short distance from your picnic place attracts wasps and bees to it, far away from you. Health and Safety warning – it is impolite and dangerous to place the cup near somebody else’s picnic.
Turn Hydrangeas and Azaleas Blue.
Feeding Hydrangeas and Azaleas with Coke turns the soil acidic and makes them turn a beautiful cornflower blue.
A Japanese group have managed to generate electricity using Coca-Cola in a biophotofuel cell. It also worked with Urine, Rice Wine and Grated radishes.
There are hundreds of recipes on the internet for using Coca-Cola in cooking. You can add it to cakes, make low fat brownies, marinade meat in it, make BBQ sauce, cook ham in it and tenderize tough meat.
I’ve spent quite a lot of time helping the kids make volcanos with their chemistry sets at Christmas but frankly a Mentos & Coke exploding fountain is much more fun. If you’ve never done it, check it out here: http://www.stevespanglerscience.com/lab/experiments/original-mentos-diet-coke-geyser.
Drink it! Let’s face it, it is fun.
Drink it straight from the bottle or can.
Even better drink it from the new bottles made from ice, if you can find one.
Finally, I think people should stop being so dramatic on the ‘to drink or not to drink’ Coca Cola issue. I don’t think parents should be running around beating themselves up because they let their child drink Coca-Cola. Nor do I think we should turn into dragons of parents whose child is the only one at a party that wants a Coca-Cola and isn’t allowed to have one. It is all about being sensible. At the risk of sounding like my granny, I remember when drinking Coca Cola was not a universal daily event. It was an occasional special treat at birthday parties or weekends and Christmas. It was delivered by the ‘pop’ man once a week and came in a small 6.5oz (192ml) glass bottle so you drank less of it and you returned the empty bottles to the pop man the next week so that they could be reused. Boy did it taste good out of those little glass bottles. Sadly the last 6.5oz bottle in the States came off the conveyor belt on the 9th October 2012. Now the smallest coke you can get is 300ml and you can only get it in plastic bottles or aluminium cans. October 9th 2012 was a sad day in my opinion.